Absolute Insanity
by Kingdom Liz
Summary: Title says all. Characters include Roy & Marth from Fire Emblem, Link and Zelda, Sora and Squall from KH, several OCs, and so many more I can't even name them all. You've been warned. On the randomness scale, this is def. a 10. XD READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
1. Zelda's the Stripper

Oook, so this is a warning before you read this. It was 5 o'clock in the morning. I was becoming slightly delirious. And this is what happened. I honestly was typing the random things that were popping into my brain, and it actually frightens me how retarded this thing is. That being said, let me just tell you who the main characters are…

Emiko – me

Kaya – my friend who actually appears in my KH fanfic

Chiharu – my bestie who also appears in my fanfic.

Naomi – another bestie who doesn't currently have a role in my KH fanfic due to the fact that she doesn't like KH.

Link – the hero of time, you know from Zelda.

Zelda – the princess of hyrule

Marth – the guy from fire emblem and super smash

Roy – the other guy from fire emblem and super smash

Squall – the guy from final fantasy 8 and KH.

There are many more, but I forget who all I added randomly… so yeah. XDD

DISCLAIMER: I disclaim all of the characters in this aside from Emiko, Chiharu, Naomi, and Kaya.

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Link: I have a beard!

Roy: No you don't you drew that on just now!

Link: Did not! it's real!

Emiko: I'm a jackalope!

Marth: That's definitely not an animal.

Roy: No you are!

Zelda: I think I'm having a baby.

Link: Why?

Zelda: Because I am.

Link: Ok then… pushes her out a window Byeee bye…waves

Naomi: YAY!

Marth: That wasn't nice.

Emiko: Your face isn't nice!

Chiharu: That's a BURN!!

Roy: I wish I wish I was a fish.

Link: But fishes have herpes!

Emiko: No, that's zebras.

Kaya: Yeah, she's right. Fishes don't have any STDs, they just have AIDS.

Link: Isn't AIDS an STD?

Roy: No. …What's an STD?

Marth: It's a stupid television dial.

Kaya: No it isn't, it's a silly tame diameter

Naomi: I thought it was cheese.

Roy: I like cheese.

Link: I like herpes!

Zelda: I just had twins!

Bulbasaur: I thought she was dead!!

Marth: I lied, Monopoly was invented by Abraham Lincoln.

Roy: Wait, then who invented the lightbulb??

Kaya: That was Jack Black.

Emiko: Black Jack is a game.

Link: RACIST!!! YOURE RACIST!!

Chiharu: I gots a bucket! hugs it tightly

Squall: steals bucket

Chiharu: NOOO THEY BE STEALIN MAH BUCKETS!!

Squall puts it on his head and dances around

Squall: ITS MY BUCKET NOW BITCH!!!

Roy: …….. he can TALK??!!!

Emiko: It's news to me!

Link: But it wasn't even in the paper!

Marth: What's that have to do with anything?

Link: All news is in the newspaper! Didn't you know?

Bulbasaur: HEY! I haven't had a line for awhile!

Emiko: That's because I forgot you were in it and nobody even likes you.

Bulbasaur explodes, creating a million tiny bubbles

Link: Great, now there are bubbles everywhere!

Chiharu: At least they aren't flying monkeys.

Naomi: Or pieces of paper with little Xs printed on them.

Marth: Or a lot of children who have a strange desire to kick things.

Roy: Like that one over there?

All: What?

Child who has a strange desire to kick things: THERE'S A MAN UNDER MY BOAT!!! kicks things

Link: OW!! God damnit, that is it! tries to slice child in half, but misses and accidentally kills Saria

Saria: You killed me! Now who's going to feed my pet tree named Charlie?

Roy: His mom?

Saria: Zelda's dead though!

Zelda: No I'm not!

Saria: Oh, well you will be soon.

Emiko: There's a pot sitting in the window.

Chiharu: So go and get it.

Naomi: sings jingle bells

Emiko: I don't want to get it.

Link: Naomi, it isn't Christmas!

Naomi: makes whatever sound it is that retarded goats make

Kaya: This is fucked up.

Marth: No. I don't feel like it now.

Roy: I do! goes to look in the random pot in the window

Link: What's in it, Roy?

Roy: I think it's a map.

Ganondorf: Maps turn me on, let me see.

Roy tosses map to Ganondorf

Emiko: Why is there a balloon in here?

Ganondorf: This is no map! This is a wall clock!

Emiko: Hello, balloon.

Roy: No, that's definitely a map. It's got numbers all over it.

Emiko: Umm the balloon is attacking me…

Naomi: Hi.

Kaya: Why'd you say that?

Naomi: Hi.

Marth: Umm… yeah.

Chiharu: I'M A LEOPLURODON!

Emiko: I …can't ..breathe……. turns blue because the balloon is strangling her neck

Roy: Leoplurodons are extinct. So no, you aren't.

Chiharu: HAH show's what you know! They're actually NOT extinct.

Naomi: Hi.

Link: Can I pet you?

Naomi: Hi.

Marth: Link has worms, don't talk to him.

Naomi: suddenly grows buck teeth Relly?

Roy: My name rhymes with toy.

Sheik: Hi, did somebody call for me?

Chiharu: Oh, yeah, that was Emiko… She died a minute ago though, so I guess you're a little too late.

Sheik: Oh, well does anyone else need a stripper?

Roy: I would say yes, but I don't like guys.

Kaya: Do you have a masterball?

Marth: I think I have a fishing rod. Is that the same thing?

Kaya: Why yes, it is. Thank you, Marth.

Marth: Oh… well I just lied, so…

Naomi: Who is this stripper…?

Link: I'll find out because I haven't said anything for a while!

Squall: forgot how to talk

Link: strips Sheik OH GROSS!! ZELDA'S THE STRIPPER??!!!

Roy: GASP

Marth: GASP

Naomi: GASP

Kaya: GASP

Chiharu: GASP

Ganondorf: Fuck. walks away dejectedly

Link: You cannot say that word here! It is a place for children!

Kaya: You mean we're at Neverland Ranch?

Roy: Holy shit, that's where that guy lives.

Marth: Marth wants to rape Link.

Kaya: You freak! shoves an apple in his blowhole

Chiharu: You can't do that. He's not a whale.

Naomi: He may as well be.

Emiko: Did you know that heaven has fire and demons and people on roller skates?

Roy: I think that's hell, dear.

Link: She's a deer?

Squall: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm DEER CHOPS IN MY BELLY.

Emiko: Damn it, now Squall wants to eat me.

Chiharu: I'm telling Sora!

Roy: What?

Emiko: I'm cheating on you.

Roy: Oh, ok.

Marth: Where'd my penis go?

Kaya: Sadly, you've never had one Marth.

Marth: Oh, that's right.

Sora: Hi.

Emiko: Why are you here?

Sora: I came because I heard there was a funeral here.

Chiharu: Who's?

Sora: looks around at the corpses Umm… theirs.

Roy: Are you Emiko's boyfriend?

Marth: Don't answer him! It's a trick!

Link: I think I lost my pants…

Sora: …Yeah, I am. Why?

Roy: WHAAAT??!!! YOU TWO-TIMING …PERSON!!!

Naomi: What? Link lost his pants?

Pikachu: PIKA!!!! electrocutes everyone and they die

THE END!

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If you don't like completely random things that have no plot whatsoever and really don't make any sense, you obviously will not like this. The sad thing is, there's a second part to the madness. XDD It doesn't end here, folks!!! I may actually upload it if I get some reviews... lol


	2. In which I misspell many words

Link: I have a beard

Emiko: Wait, that can't be the end, can it? I mean, just because some retarded electrical mouse shocks us… that doesn't mean we're all dead, right?

Chiharu: …We aren't?

Roy: If cheese sticks had eyes, what would they see?

Marth: Your ugly face trying to eat them.

Pikachu: Why aren't you bitches dead?

Kaya: Because Marth has a masterball and you're a gaytard.

Link: Can we roast it over the fire and eat his bodily appendages?

Starfire: On my planet, Pikachu is a rare delicacy!

Emiko: Go away, you're stupid.

Star: Ok then bye!

Pikachu: You can't eat me, I'm a vegetarian!

Roy: Damn, he has a point.

Kaya: Why can't you eat a vegetarian?

Link: BECAUSE IT"S AGAINST THEIR RELIGION!!

Epona: Just like pooping in ceramic cups.

Naomi: What?

Sora: You all are weird…

Roy: EH?

Chiharu: Can I please have your children?

Sailor Moon: Ok, let's go.

Marth: I have a bag of chips, let's play twister!

Link: Eww that's the game where everyone rapes each other, I'll pass.

Roy: No, that's clue.

Emiko: No it isn't it's simon says.

Kaya: Yeah, she's right.

Saria: I think my tree is having a seizure.

Zelda: So give it some strawberry paste to calm it down.

Witch person: Hi.

Chiharu: Where did Squall go?

Emiko: I think he turned into a magic pidgeon and flew away.

Chi: oh, ok.

Roy: Guess what's in my pants?

Marth: A singing coffee pot with a polka dot bow tie?

Link: A hamster who somehow has the same name as you and likes to eat mutant peas from a paper bag?

Zelda: A really big –

Emiko: ME!?

Roy: What?

Kaya: Well?

Roy: Huh?

Marth: What's in your pants, Roy?

Roy: SICK! Why do you wanna know that??

Link: I think he's showing his colors…

Chiharu: Yeah, but they're been showing all along! He's wearing a tiara.

Marth: …Roy asked us to guess!

Roy: No I didn't!

Kaya: Yeah, he's right.

Zelda's twins: Who's our daddy?

Zelda: Oh, well it could easily be anybody in this room, darlings!

Link: …

Roy: HAHAHAHAHA

Link: throws blunt object at Roy causing a black hole to form in the universe and swallow him up.

Emiko: Damn.

Squall: Hi.

Chi: You suck for turning into a bird.

Squall: Pidgeons arent' birds, they're mallets.

Zelda: No, they're actually milkshakes.

Naomi: I thought they were people who haven't spoken for a while due to the fact that Emiko forgot we were in it!

Emiko: Yeah, that's the one.

Kirby: WHEEEE!! throws stars everywhere

Marth: peels star off of forehead NOOO I"VE BEEN CURSED!!

Kaya: With what?

Marth: With the star curse! My fingers are all going to fall off and begin dancing around like satan pooh!

Satan Pooh: SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN…. WHAT THE FUCK?!

Chiharu: Heh. …hehe. pokes satan pooh with a stick until his head explodes, revealing a door

Emiko: Wow, why did I type that?

Roy: Who cares?? Let's go in the door!

Zelda: It leads to satan's lair.

Marth: That's cool. He's like my god.

Naomi: Emo child.

Squall: My feet hurt.

Kaya: Who's gonna go in the door first?

Roy: I vote for Marth.

Squall: squaks like a seagull

Zelda: Is there a character we're forgetting?

Emiko: Several, why?

Zelda: Well, make them go.

Link: Splendid idea!

Ganandorf: My mother hates me.

Link: Aha! There he is now! Push him in the door!

Naomi: YAY! falls asleep on the floor

Emiko: Good night, I'm tired.


End file.
